Are You Wondering How to Start NoFap?
That’s the same thing I asked myself back in 2017 when I was at the beginning of my NoFap journey.
I didn’t know if I should have directly started eliminating Porn, Masturbation, and Orgasm (PMO) from my life altogether or if a gradual approach would have been better.
If you want to start your nofap practice safely and smartly that will ensure you long term results, you can begin by following the steps outlined below.
Step 1: Discover Your Why
The first step you must take to succeed with your nofap challenge is getting clear on why you want to do it.
Porn addiction can make you feel like a loser but if you know what you really want to get from your life, you’ll be armed to deal with that problem in the best way.
That’s a fundamental action to take because you probably have an inner drive pushing you to start nofap, but you’re not clear on your why, as most people.
That inner drive is probably driving you towards the improvement of your living conditions. Still, if you don’t get clear on exactly what you want to improve, the momentum wheeling behind you will be weaker.
That’s where most people fail and get back to porn addiction.
If you want to be stronger than your pmo urges, you have to make a list of all the possible benefits you can get with nofap and prioritize them in order of emotional relevance for you.
If you don’t know how to do that, here are some examples:
-If you want to attract more women, it’s time to put that at the top of your priorities;
– If you want to have more energy, put this as your main benefit;
-If you want to attract more abundance in your life, that’s your why;
I started nofap because I wanted to perform better with my mind in my business ideas, in the creation of my books and other creative things. That was what mainly pushed me to keep going on.
Of course, your why can (and often will) change during years, months, or even weeks if you experience life-changing events.
That’s why you should periodically question the reason why you do what you do to have your subconscious mind supporting you in your long term endeavor.
If you fail to get clarity on this aspect, there’s a good probability that you will fail, as most people.
Step 2: Strategize
To win your nofap challenge, one of the most important things you should do is strategizing. Let’s imagine you’re an ancient Roman general, and one day you decide to conquer a specific region of the world.
You have decided what region to conquer (the what, in this case, no fapping) and why you want to overcome it (your why of step 1).
Now it comes to how you want to conquer this region. Maybe you want to send 100k troops directly in one spot or divide them to circumvent the enemy on specific geographic locations.
That, in your nofap journey, translates into choosing what weapons you can use against PMO and how you will use them to have the upper hand over your addiction.
What weapons can you use during your nofap journey? Here are some of them:
- Your Willpower;
- NoFap Tracker;
- Accountability Coaching/Friend’s Help;
- Removing Triggers;
The first tool you have at your disposal is your willpower. You can use your willpower in two ways fundamentally:
- To push you to do something;
- To refrain you from doing something;
For example, you use your willpower anytime you push yourself to go to the gym on a day when you don’t want to. You also use it whenever you hold yourself back from eating that sweet or food you love, but that tastes really bad.
This means you will consume units of willpower anytime you try to resist the temptation of watching porn and masturbate to have an orgasm.
The problem is that since our willpower is finite, you will only be able to use certain units throughout your day.
On those days where you feel stressed and overwhelmed with work, you will have less willpower at your disposal; those are the days where you are more likely to fall into temptations.
That’s why you need to implement other weapons in your strategy to make good improvements.
No Fap Tracker
Using a nofap tracker can be one of the best ways with which you can empower yourself during your porn addiction rebooting path.
Even though that can be time consuming, it has helped people starting nofap in a better way. The first time I was starting nofap I didn’t know how powerful that tool would have been to maximize my success chances.
That’s why many people (including me) fell to the habit of watching porn of doing other unhealthy things. However, when you try a nofap tracker that can keep you accountable and also motivated, then you won’t be overwhelmed by everyday pmo urges.
If you want to relate to a real human being during your no fap journey, I strongly suggest you hire an accountability coach.
The main strengths of having an accountability coach are that you will be much more emotionally compelled to succeed in your no fap journey because of the emotional tie you will create with him.
Even though that can cost you money, it can be an excellent way to start nofap in a good way. The first day I hired a coach, things started to change much faster for me.
Think about it, is it easier for you to keep a promise you just made to yourself or to keep it with somebody you fear, admire, or love?
-I guess you did not have excuses for not doing something a person you feared told you.
-The same thing with the person you admire the most in the world.
-Also, with somebody you genuinely love, it would be hard to betray them.
That proves that the emotional component is fundamental in directing our behavior. If you think an accountability coach is somebody that can help you in that sense, go on and hire one.
Another thing you can to do overcome porn addiction is asking help from a friend of yours. Those are things that everyone does when people close to us are in need.
At the end, life is about overcoming our challenges together! That’s when we feel truly happy. For that reason you might ask a friend of yours to engage in mutually beneficial relationship where you are accountable to each other.
This way you’ll be able to stay strong together and defeat porn addiction for real. When I started my practice I felt ashamed of being addicted to porn, as everyone. However I didn’t hesitate to contact my best friend from time to time and ask him to help me with my addiction.
In my opinion that’s something you should absolutely try to do good to people in need while at the same time reboot your brain and get rid of pmo addiction.
It can also be a friend you admire or love, as said above, or even somebody you fear. In that case, good luck!
Finally, the last step you should take care of is removing the pmo urges that push you to masturbate.
Those triggers can be easily accessed like images/videos, environments that you associate to sexuality, recurring thoughts, or even other visual, auditory, or kinesthetic cues that trigger a sexual stimulation in you.
Make sure to tidy your environment up and to control your inputs because anything can subconsciously bombard your brain with sexual stimuli.
- A song that reminds you of sex or a sexual experience you had;
- An Instagram picture of a model;
- That friend of yours that always sends you nude videos;
- Touching a specific material that reminds you of sexuality;
- Smelling a perfume that stimulates your sexual fantasy;
As you can see, many pmo urges can impact us every day. Reduce them to the minimum for what you can do, and you’ll see an improvement in how much you think about sex and masturbation.
Step 3: Anticipate Failure
If you’re wondering how to start nofap and be able to stay on track for 90 days as I did, you should be able to anticipate failure as a pro.
What will you do if, one day, you’re about to fail your nofap challenge? You need to create a system in advance that will prevent you from failing or absorb the negative impact of your failure if that time will arrive.
You can do this in many ways.
Preventing You From Failing
To prevent yourself from failing, you should prepare a protocol of actions to perform anytime you are about to watch porn or masturbate. Things like written procedures, and prepared solutions will help you when this time will arrive.
What I do anytime I am tempted to fall into those traps is opening an online notebook page where I have written all the reasons why I started no fap (see step 1).
On that note, I’ve written both the positive effects I will get by not masturbating and watching porn, as well as the negative consequences deriving from the practice.
This way, my brain will get pulled away from fapping because of the benefits I will get from it and push the idea away because of the harmful effects of the practice. All that will happen at the same time having opposite polarizing impacts that will benefit me tremendously.
With this system, I managed to stay strong in face of the difficulties that everyone encounters when trying to get rid of porn addiction.
Moreover, by applying this system you will retrain your brain to operate in such a way that it will always be ready to face problems or other negative things that will prevent you from defeating porn addiction.
Then my protocol says to immediately start an activity I like doing immediately after having read about the negative and positive effects of fapping. This will focus my brain on something productive right away, making me forget about PMO during the whole day.
Your benefits and harms will need to look different from mine for obvious reasons (you have different motives than me), but the process can look almost the same.
Absorbing Your Failure
What to do if you failed and fapped?
First of all, consider failure part of your porn addiction rebooting stage and accept it as normal. That needs to be done for many reasons:
- You will probably fail at least once;
- Your failure can harm you unless you accept it;
If you are new to no fap, you will likely fail at least once during your nofap journey. This happens to many people trying it because of inexperience.
You’ll know that when you start to get pmo urges that will feel really hard. I found out that a way that helps always is understanding how our brain works so to better absorb failure.
That’s why you must consider it as normal before you even start, no need to feel like a loser. This way, you will both relieve yourself from the pressure of failing and absorb the failure better in case of real failure.
After you fail, do not condemn the event but accept it as a necessary learning experience you needed to make before moving on to the next stage of ultimate control. Take that cold shower as a learning experience!
I also failed many times during my first nofap journey, like many men do but don’t talk about. However, those failures eventually led me to go 90 days without fapping that, to date, is my record.
Now you’re ready to start your porn addiction rebooting path, as you’re equipped with the right tools you can use every day.
I wish you good luck, hope you’ll get rid of porn just like many people reading our blog are doing and become a better person.
We’re lions. It’s time to fight for the lives we deserve!