Are You Wondering How to Start No Fap?
That’s the same thing I asked myself back in 2017 when I was at the beginning of my No Fap journey.
I didn’t know if I should have directly started eliminating Porn, Masturbation, and Orgasm (PMO) from my life altogether or if a gradual approach would have been better.
If you want to start your no fap practice safely and smartly that will ensure you long term results, you can begin by following the steps outlined above.
Step 1: Discover Your Why
The first step you must take to succeed with no fap is getting clear on why you want to do it.
That’s a fundamental action to take because you probably have an inner drive pushing you to start no fap, but you’re not clear on why.
That inner drive is probably driving you towards the improvement of your living conditions. Still, if you don’t get clear on exactly what you want to improve, the momentum wheeling behind you will be weaker.
That’s why you have to make a list of all the possible benefits you can get with no fap and prioritize them in order of emotional relevance for you.
Here are some examples:
-If you want to attract more women, that must be put at the top of your priorities;
– If you want to have more energy, put this as your main benefit;
-If you want to attract more abundance in your life, that’s your why;
I started no fap because I wanted to perform better with my mind both on my business ideas and in the creation of my books. That was what mainly pushed me to keep going on my journey.
Of course, your why can (and often will) change during years, months, or even weeks if you experience life-changing events.
That’s why you should periodically question the reason why you do what you do to have your subconscious mind supporting you in your long term endeavor.
If you fail to get clarity on this aspect, the probability that your whole plan will fail will be very high.
Step 2: Strategize
Now comes the practical part. Let’s imagine you’re an ancient Roman general, and your goal was to conquer a specific region of the world.
You have decided what region to conquer (the what, in this case, no fapping) and why you want to overcome it (your why of step 1).
Now it comes how you want to conquer this region. Maybe you want to send 100k troops directly in one spot or divide them to circumvent the enemy on specific geographic locations.
That, in your no fap journey, translates into choosing what weapons you can use against PMO and how you will use them.
What weapons can you use during your no fap journey? Here are some of them:
- Your Willpower;
- No Fap Tracker;
- Accountability Coaching;
- Removing Triggers;
The first tool you have at your disposal is your willpower. You can use your willpower in two ways fundamentally:
- To push you to do something;
- To refrain you from doing something;
For example, you use your willpower anytime you push yourself to go to the gym on a day when you don’t want to. You also use it whenever you hold yourself back from eating that sweet or food you love, but that tastes really bad.
This means you will consume units of willpower anytime you try to resist the temptation of watching porn and masturbate to have an orgasm.
The problem is that since our willpower is finite, you will only be able to use certain units throughout your day.
On those days where you feel stressed and overwhelmed with work, you will have less willpower at your disposal; those are the days where you are more likely to fall into temptations.
That’s why you need to implement other weapons in your strategy.
No Fap Tracker
Using a no fap tracker can be one of the best ways with which you can empower yourself during this journey.
If you want to relate to a real human being during your no fap journey, I strongly suggest you hire an accountability coach.
The main strengths of having an accountability coach are that you will be much more emotionally compelled to succeed in your no fap journey because of the emotional tie you will create with him.
Think about it, is it easier for you to keep a promise you just made to yourself or to keep it with somebody you fear, admire, or love?
-I guess you did not have excuses for not doing something a person you feared told you.
-The same thing with the person you admire the most in the world.
-Also, with somebody you genuinely love, it would be hard to betray them.
That proves that the emotional component is fundamental in directing our behavior. If you think an accountability coach is somebody that can help you in that sense, go on and hire one.
It can also be a friend you admire or love, as said above, or even somebody you fear. In that case, good luck!
Finally, the last step you should take care of is removing the triggers that push you to masturbate.
Those triggers can be easily accessed like images/videos, environments that you associate to sexuality, recurring thoughts, or even other visual, auditory, or kinesthetic cues that trigger a sexual stimulation in you.
Make sure to tidy your environment up and to control your inputs because anything can subconsciously bombard your brain with sexual stimuli.
- A song that reminds you of sex or a sexual experience you had;
- An Instagram picture of a model;
- That friend of yours that always sends you nude videos;
- Touching a specific material that reminds you of sexuality;
- Smelling a perfume that stimulates your sexual fantasy;
As you can see, many triggers can impact us every day. Reduce them to the minimum for what you can do, and you’ll see an improvement in how much you think about sex and masturbation.
Step 3: Anticipate Failure
What happens if you’re about to fail or when you will fail? You need to create a system in advance that will prevent you from failing or absorb the negative impact of your failure. You can do this in many ways.
Preventing You From Failing
To prevent yourself from failing, you should prepare a protocol of actions to perform anytime you are about to watch porn or masturbate.
What I do anytime I am tempted to fall into those traps is opening a note page where I have written all the reasons why I started no fap (see step 1).
On that note, I’ve written both the positive effects I will get by not masturbating as well as the negative consequences deriving from the practice.
This way, my brain will get pulled away from fapping because of the benefits I will get from it and push the idea away because of the harmful effects of the practice. All that will happen at the same time having opposite polarizing impacts that will benefit me tremendously.
Then my protocol says to immediately start an activity I like doing immediately after having read about the negative and positive effects of fapping. This will focus my brain on something productive right away, making me forget about PMO.
Your benefits and harms will need to look different from mine for obvious reasons (you have different motives than me), but the process can look almost the same.
Absorbing Your Failure
What to do if you failed and fapped?
First of all, consider failure part of your no fap journey and accept it as normal. That needs to be done for many reasons:
- You will probably fail at least once;
- Your failure can harm you unless you accept it;
If you are new to no fap, you will likely fail at least once during your journey. This happens to the majority of men trying it because of inexperience.
That’s why you must consider it as normal before you even start. This way, you will both relieve yourself from the pressure of failing and absorb the failure better in case of real failure.
After you fail, do not condemn the event but accept it as a necessary learning experience you needed to make before moving on to the next stage of ultimate control.
I also failed many times during my first no fap journeys, like many men do but don’t talk about. However, those failures eventually led me to go 87 days without fapping that, to date, is my record.
Now you’re ready to start your no fap journey, as you’re equipped with the right tools.
I wish you good luck and invite you to congratulate yourself for getting into this practice that will toughen you up.
We’re lions fighting for the lives we deserve!